A Golem's not so normal morning

Most people thought it was a myth.A fairy-tale.Yet,it wasn't.The forest may seem quiet and empty,but it was not.Deep withing the seemingly endless maze of trees stood a clearing.The normally green grass was covered in white snow.The small,white dots fell slowly from the sky.There stood a castle.The snow piled up on the outer walls,filling the path-ways up.The enterance stood quiet and dead.Upon the side of the walls was the courtyard.Absolutely empty.In the far back lay the Keep.Inside is a palace,empty,the room being lit by candles.The room was empty,aside from a throne chair.There were doors on either side of the room,leading into other rooms.One room in particular contained our sleeping friend Pana.She was in a bed,snuggling against a velvet blanket.Her coat and skirt lay scattered on the floor.She slept silently,the only sigh of life being the rising and lowering of her chest.Her green hair made a scrabble,being a morning-hair do.Though the bed was big,her legs fell off at the end,touching the floor.The bed's legs were non-existent,due to having broke long ago when Pana 'inherited' it.

While traveling through the woods, The Skull Knight continued to talk to himself. "Day 47... I think. Still can't find the airport. Food rations running non-existant since........" The Dark Weapon looked into the brown patchwork bag he was carrying, sorting through some objects before continuing his mental report. "Since 47 days ago. I think. Roman's still missing ever since... 47 days ago when he tried to get me on some flying evil contraption! Or... was that the ticket guy... do planes even have tickets?"

After a few moments wandering aimlessly in thought trying to figure out wether or not ticket-trains fly, the Skull Knight randomly kicked a tree nearby. Then, he noticed a large semi-imposing castle, the weapon decided to try and see who was inside! Quickly feeling how his chared side and the large crack in his skull-plate was recovering, he picked up a large stone and proceeded to pound the front door with it.

She twitched once.Then twice.She did not wake up.The banging on the door was loud,yes,but Pana was a heavy sleeper.She shifted her position in her sleep.She let out a quiet,inaduble sound and continued to sleep.She turned again,only this time,she accidentally rolled off the floor.In a instant,her large,heavy,nude body hit the floor,creating a very loud thud and strong vibrations that could be felt outside.Even then,it took 5 minutes to wake up.She groggily got to her feet and stood.A minute passed,and then she suddenly turned and head for the bathroom and turned the shower on.Being already nude,she merely stepped in and washed herself,waking up fully as she did.Steam filled the bathroom,almost like a thick mist as the water sprinkled onto her snow white skin.

She let out sounds of content and began washing her hair with the last of the shampoo,sighing.

"This must be one of the old abandoned dracula castles, I've heard so much about." He mumbled to himself, unaware of the small tremor due to how loudly he was banging on the door and how thick his leg-plates were. Finally, his patience wore out and he began kicking the door as hard as he could to try and break it down! Each loud 'thud' making the wood give way a little more.

'If this was a vampire castle, then there must be garlic inside!!!'

Finally, he gave up on even the patience of trying to kick the door down and crouched over. His spine-plate detatched from his back as it seemed to lengthen and turn into a long tail-like chain with a scythe-blade at the end.

"That's it, door. You think you can keep me away from food and call my momma fat?! I don't even KNOW my momma, so joke's on you!!! Scorpion Stance!!!!!"

After a few quick swings, The Skull Knight sliced the hinges off of the wooden door before kicking it down with supprising ease and bringing his weapon back into his body. "Serves you right, Door. What even are you? Stupid piece of wood.........."

Though the banging continued,she merely ignored it and stepped out the shower.She didn't even bother to dry herself and left the bathroom.She re-entered her large,almost gigantic room and put on her coat and make-shift skirt before exiting.With each,loud thuds and vibrations could be heard and felt.The holes on her face lit up repeatly as she let out not-understandable gibberish."Gazauabua...."She muttered,sounding almost robotic.She eventually walked into the library,filled with shelves upon shelves of books.She randomly pick one out and immediatlely began reading sliently.She held it with two fingers and turned pages with one finger.It took a few trys,however,due to the size difference.Not to mention,how close the book had to be to her face.Despite this,she has managed to read most of the books.

Immediatly, The Skull Knight began searching through the castle to try and find something to eat. After wondering the halls for several minutes, he came across the bathroom and quickly glanced around. It looked pretty clean... and the shower was still dripping slightly....... So, in the Dark Weapon's eyes, the vampire who lived here must not be a verry good plumber. With a shrug of his shoulders, he turned around and wandered off to see what else he could find.

Pana continued reading silently.She ignored the noises she was hearing,blocking them out.The room was lit by multiple candles,having no windows,thus giving it and her a apposing appearance.

Without warning, The Skull Knight bursted into the library with a maddened look on his face! His eyes darted around the room before finally noticing the white being in the center of it. That must be the vampire! Quickly, he reached into the brown bag he was carrying. "ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMAN!!!" The Dark Weapon shouted. "I'm here to sells you the Encyclopedias!"

"ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMAN!!!"said the little......thing.Pana of-course ignored him and didn't even look his way."I'm here to sells you the Encyclopedias!"Now Pana looked.She slowly turned her head,looking directly at him,despite the fact she had no actual eyes,she could still see(don't ask me how -.-).Even when sitting,she still towered over the man,but she made no movement to get up.

(OoC: Dude, how big IS this golem?! I mean, I just assumed she was normal sized since she was sleeping in her creator's bed and using her shower and chairs... but you make it sound like she's either a giant or Skull Knight is the size of a little kid.)

(OoC: I didn't even realize she was freaking 13 feet tall! I mean, do you know how- So many questions.... How does a 13 foot tall golem read a normal-sized book? Wouldn't the book and it's text be super freaking tiny to them? Especially since she only has 3 fingers on each hand.... How does a 13 foot tall golem take a shower without a modified system or without having to lie on the ground or something? How does a 13 foot tall golem use a normal bed without breaking it? I mean, she must way at least 500 pounds or something. I assume she's not exactly having people come into the castle and hiring them to fix the plumbing and build giant furnature everywhere for her to use.... And, just I really don't want to go back to this, but why would a 13 foot tall golem have dirty parts?! Why build them into a golem that large??? It's not like she would ever be able to even use them without a second giant golem or something. There's literally no point in them, either, since she doesn't eat and can't get pregnant....... Jus- I don't even know...... Where would you even find someone to build giant furnature like that? Sorry for getting off on a rant, but just what the heck is up with that?!?!)

1.I never said it was a normal bed.Since its a castle and the witch's home,its obvious Pana's forner master got some big and lucserious stuff.

2.She can still read.Its not like the book is open on the table.She not big enough to not understand the text.As for her fingers,they may be a little less thicker than a wrist and they get smaller a the end.

3.Her idea weight would be 407.9 lbs,based on the Miller Formula.

4.WE ALREADY DISCUSSED HER PRIVATE PART SITUATION >///< I AM DROPPING THAT SUBJECT AS OF NOW.

5.I'm just being creative in a weird way q.q

(OoC:

1. That would be understandable, but a 13 foot long bed? I'm assuming her master wasn't a giant herself.

2. It's not that she would be too stupid to understand, it would be that she would have to hold the book super close to her face to even know what it says. Let alone how difficult it would be to even turn the pages. Imagine having to read something that looks about this big How big the words would seem to someone so huge and still turn the pages

6. You still havn't answeared why the heck a witch would have GIANT chairs and showers just lying around that would be WAAAYYYYY too big for a normal person to sit in.)

1.Well,since this is a organic golem,she would obviously begin to stink if she dosent bathe,hence big shower.

2.Its easier than you think

3.You know how women tend to be vain and buy big objects?Yea,hence the giant bed.

(OoC: That still doesn't answear WHY the witch would have a giant shower and randomly have impractically giant chair. And I get that vain people like big things, but a 13 foot long bed?! Really?!?! Also, try turning the pages of a book only using two fingers. Now, imagine having to do that with a REALLY tiny book that you can barly even read.)

1.I just answered the shower part and I never said she got a giant chair.

2.She used one finger to move page(easier than it sounds.)

3.WHY WOULD YOU GET A TINY BOOK IF YOUR A WITCH.ALMOST ALL WITCH BOOKS ARE FILLED WITH PAGES UPON PAGES.

(OoC: But if you're a GIANT then the book would be tiny to YOU! I thought that was pretty obvious! Also, are you SERIOULY expecting me to believe that a 13 foot tall metal-and-flesh monsterous golem heavy enough to shake the castle when she rolls out of bed would be able to just chill out in a normal-sized chair like it's no big deal? 1. She would be too big to balance on a chair 2. it would break under her weight and 3. why the heck wouldn't she just be expected to sit on the floor? Also, I STILL call BS on being able to read a normal book with so 3 giant fingers and, once again, why the heck would a witch have a 13 foot long bed? I can see where the shower thing makes sense now, but the rest is just thrown in there! Like you just wanted a character bigger than everyone else but still wanted them to do day-to-day activities without considering how it would be effected by a parson of such size.

Whatever, you're not going to give me an answear that makes sense and this has bogged down the thread long enough. I might as well just pull the Skull Knight out of there and pretend this whole adventure never happened even though they didn't even get a chance to talk.)

You do realise I could just edit the posts so they make sense

(OoC: Yes, but, so far, you're just trying to convince me that a witch just happened to own giant furnature because ego that just happens to be large enough for her giant creation despite how little sense it makes and that someone so freaking huge could just casually flip through a book and use a normal chair with absolutly no problems whatsoever.... And, so far, this thread has been really uneventful and boring for me.... I mean, if you edit this stuff so it actually makes sense, I'd be fine with giving it another chance but, for now, it just feels like the kind-of pointless BS I really don't want my characters to get too wrapped up in.)

edited

(OoC: Sorry, but I've just lost all intrest at this poing. I mean, the last IC post was a week ago and I've had to go through nearly an entire page before I even had something to react to. I'd just be better off moving The Skull knight into another thread....)

:(