I will never pee again

So I was thinking of possible scenes from a hat type stuff when I thought: rejected horror movie monsters, when my brain suddenly conjured up something legitimately terrifying (but only for guys). What if someone/thing lived in your toilet so that the next time ya wip out your junk to pee, it would reach up through the toilet hole and grab it like a handle, pulling you into the toilet where it will eat you; of course you would be dead by the time it got you since most of your bones would be shattered as it pulls you through the toilet drain. *shivers*
Beware the toilet fiend.

Wouldn't work, the toilet would break first. It would have to devour you OUTSIDE the toilet.

Unless it's a different substance...like it replaces your toilet, and it has a toilet shaped shell that takes it's place. It lives in there like a hermit crab, outwardly mimicking porcelain perfectly.... Somehow that's even worse...

Okay. That'd be a hard ass shell, then. Maybe it softens you up by spraying acid on you first, like flies do with their food? Or maybe the toilet is actually a portal.

It's only getting worse now... Nope, never peeing again.
But for just sitting and using a normal toilet there could be something good like a friendly prostate examiner that gives you a quick prostate exam. It's an unpleasant surprise, but a free and informative one.

I'm never using a toilet again altogether.

Nah, the whole pulling thing just would not work. Your dangalang would rip.

PS. Write up an SCP file pronto.

Omg. This.

Regardless of wether or not it rips, both options are terrifying.

Your wang would tear in almost an instant. I would fight for mine, trying my best to leave my manhood attached, but the monster would get me. I'd die instantly from shock. It'd be a quick, but painful death.

So its basically a mimic... for your toilet.
Do I get to roll a D20 resistance check?

Aaaahhh, the perks of being female. No dangly bits.

Besides your old lady tits.