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| | The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) | |
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Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) November 29th 2014, 6:38 pm | |
| ((OOC: Hello Crusher, I couldn't help but notice that your writing skills aren't... The best that they could be. That's ok though because I am willing to teach you a few things to help you improve.
First things first, all names are capitalized. It doesn't matter if it's the beginning of a sentence or not, names are always capitalized.
For example:
Melly and tom walked into the store.
That would be wrong. The correct way to write the sentence will be:
Melly and Tom walked into the store.
Ok, we got that part done. Second thing you need to learn, everytime someone different speaks in a post, you need to begin a new paragraph.
For example:
Melly said to Tom, "What's on the checklist?" Tom replied with, "Beans, tortillas, rice, salsa, and chips."
That will be wrong. The correct way to write it will be:
Melly said to Tom, "What's on the checklist?"
Tom replied with, "Beans, tortillas, rice, salsa, and chips."
Also, please note that when you're about to write dialogue, that you put a comma before or after the sentence that tells others that a specific character is speaking.
For example:
Melly said to the clerk running the store, "Hello." And:
"Hello.", Melly said to the clerk running the store.
Also, it's best to add much more detail to your writing so others would be able to picture what your characters are doing or feeling. Wing and Guy, do you two have anything to add that might help increase Crusher's writing skills?))
Cassandra smiled and poured Ryu a glass of Sake and gently set it down in front of her before saying, "I'll recommend this drink for you sweetheart. On the house, just try to relax while you're here. Ok?" |
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| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) November 29th 2014, 10:18 pm | |
| Ooc:I already know about capitalizing names and dialouge. The two problems I have is that I am using a phone most of the time and i tend to miss the grammatical errors because of it.
Ryu moved her hand and grabbed the cup of sake that was poured for her. She lifted the cup up to her mouth and in one swig she downed the contents of the cup. She gently set the cup down and looked down at the girl who poured the contents and began to chat with her. "thanks. Is this possibly a bar for monsters? I can smell a phoenix, and a vampire, but you. You smell of draconian blood." Ryu continues to look at the girl still holding the cup,the dragoness then lets out a breathe of air along with little specks of black fire. She then speaks to the draconian girl again. "Just from that I'd like you to try to guess my species."Ryu gave a mischievous chuckle when suddenly her partner Crusher jumped up onto the stool next to her and began a chant to the female draconian. "MILK!MILK!GOOD FOR YOUR BONES! HELPS YA RUIN ENEMIES THRONES!HEY MISS GOT ANY MILK!"
Ooc:that better? |
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| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) November 30th 2014, 12:21 pm | |
| Daedalus was almost as surprised to see Aeia as she was to see him, though the thoughts did not register on his face. Instead, he gave her a curt nod with a smile toying at the corners of his mouth. "Merely talking with this gentleman, as the lady of the bar has become occupied." Judging by the way they interacted, the pair had already met. Ignoring another outburst from the lone human in the bar, as he lady was now close enough to smell that she was not, he looked back to the sorcerer and decided to inquire about his origins. "And I was wondering if a Sorcerer such as yourself would know anything about unusual mythical beasts. such as myself." |
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| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) November 30th 2014, 5:14 pm | |
| "I wouldn't call myself a pyromancer if I hadn't studied phoenixes in my earlier years. I assume you were born of the flame, but turned into this new version of yourself? Lucius asked, going through his mind of the different literature that he had read both in this world and the world of magic. Sure transformation was mysterious and unusual, but so were a lot of different things in the world.
"Lucius here knows more knowledge than anyone I have met on things fire related, my darling. He was one of the contacts I had hinted at when we last spoke. Two birds with one stone, it would seem." Aelia chimed in, releasing Daedalus and taking the seat to the left of him. She set her bag down in front of her and tried to get as comfortable as the homely bar stool would allow.
"She's right, but fire-related things don't seem helpful to our friend here, now would they. I can tell you that you are most definitely not the first phoenix to lose their flames." Lucius told Daedalus, recalling an encounter he had with one of their kind some odd three hundred and fifty years ago. He was still pretty young, and was exploring the Far East when he encountered one of the birds, although this one was not of flame or ice, but of lightning. She was as unaware as to why her fire started to crackle and pop as Daedalus probably was to why he started freezing things. Lucius had a theory, but only that. |
| | | Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 1st 2014, 4:28 am | |
| Cassandra opened her mouth to give an answer to Ryu before Crusher immediately made his outburst about milk. She sighed and tried to keep herself calm as she gave a warm smile to the boy, "No sweetheart...', Cassandra said in a very motherly tone, "I'm afraid that we don't have any milk here. This is a rundown bar after all." Just then, Cassandra's complete attention was directed towards the entrance of the bar.
Omega had collapsed through the front doors of the bar and curled up into a tight ball while she hugged a small black purse to her chest. She wore a sparkling dress similar to Cassandra's except hers was extremely wet and pale blue.
"Omega!", Cassandra called out as she darted towards her friend, that was now shivering on the floor, and held her close to her body to warm her up. "Are you you alright dear, are you hurt?", Cassandra asked as she began to caress the back of Omega's head.
"T-T-The s-sn-snow came f-from n-no-nowhere.", Omega barely made out through chattering teeth.
Cassandra quickly glanced over to Daedalus and knew that he was somewhat responsible for this due to him causing a sudden snowstorm but could understand that it was most likely unintentional. She decided it was best not to draw unwanted attention to him and to take care of the problem at hand. "Don't worry sweetheart. I'll warm you up, good as new.", Cassandra whispered to her as she carried her to the back of the bar and sat themselves against a wall. "Can someone please hand me a blanket? There should be one in a drawer just behind the counter.", she called out to everyone.
((OOC: Forget about this post and Crushers post, I'll just drop out of my RP until Cassandra is needed for bartending or anything.))
Last edited by Zacky The Puppy on December 6th 2014, 11:11 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 1st 2014, 12:12 pm | |
| Upon hearing the bar owners request Crusher put his hand on the counter and launched himself over it and began searching through the drawers. after a few seconds he finally found the blanket and ran over to the two women and held the blanket to the draconian female with his left hand and began to speak to her. "Here ya go!" then he turns his head to the wet female with the black purse and started to speak to her. "Don't worry i think i can help warm you up! Watch!" Crusher holds his right hand out and a small yet very warm flame began to dance in the teens palm. |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 1st 2014, 9:43 pm | |
| (OOC: My apologies. My internet connection was shot unexpectedly for a bit, so I was unable to continue. Could I rejoin, or is that enough people?) |
| | | Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 2nd 2014, 12:24 am | |
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| | | Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 8:51 pm | |
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| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 10:47 pm | |
| ooc: Sorry Busy with school and was giving Cap a chance to post.
Daedalus looked at the newcomer with a some humor. It was only late fall, and while his presence may have caused some clouds to have a premature snowfall, the temperature on the ground would be enough to melt it without much time. He obviously did not have much cold tolerance. Looking back at the sorcerer he was sharing a drink with, his face became much more curious. "A Thunder Phoenix? They must have been born after I left the tribe. Unless.... Unless there is more than one clan. I have not found them in my travels, but if they do not want to be found, then they shall not." |
| | | Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 11:08 pm | |
| ((OOC: Well, I wanted to make it so that Omega got buried from the snow but I can see now from your post that it wasn't all that much snow. Now Omega just looks like a fool and my previous posts were worthless. Oh well, I'll just delete all the posts that lead to this and just let you and Wing chat away.)) |
| | | Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 11:13 pm | |
| ((OOC: Couldn't delete them so just ignore them.)) |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 11:31 pm | |
| Ooc: not a problem. I can understand where your confusion came in. I can simply edit mine. |
| | | Velvet Seasoned Member
Posts : 873 Join date : 2014-11-10 Age : 24 Location : Novhere and Eferyvhere!
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 11:33 pm | |
| ((OOC: Nah, don't worry about it Guy.)) |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 6th 2014, 11:50 pm | |
| ooc: if you wish...... i don't want to ruin a thread for you |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The Dragon's Den- A bar located in a complete ghost town, where monsters and humans can chat and interact with each other.(Open for ALL!!!) December 17th 2014, 5:24 pm | |
| "I cannot say that I have met many of your kind. Very few of you actually leave your homes, but yes, I can say that there is more than one enclave for phoenixes in the world. That one had said that his home had been somewhere in Asia, but he would not specify." Lucius told Daedalus, remembering the conversation well. He had been extremely disappointed when the man would not tell him where the other fire birds were, but it had been his right.
"You never mentioned that you had met a phoenix during your travels, love. Daedalus here was my first one I had ever met." Aelia said, emphasizing her sentence by laying her head on the phoenix's shoulder. Lucius knew that she was probably one of the few people that could do that in the world, considering just how cold the man ran. Even as vampires came, Aelia had been abnormally resistant to the cold.
It had been so fascinating to know that Lucius had met another phoenix. Aelia liked to consider herself well traveled, but even she knew that she paled in comparison to the sorcerer. She would never tell him that unless his life depended on it, and let's be honest, he can get out of nearly any situation. Aelia was dying to here more about them. Meeting Daedalus and hearing about his plight had inspired her to even call her old friend to this place. It had only been pure luck that the man she was ere for happen to be here as well. She figured it was the least she could do for jumping his bones that first and only time they had met. |
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