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 Skylar Lara Springs (WIP) INACTIVE

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PostSubject: Skylar Lara Springs (WIP) INACTIVE   Skylar Lara Springs (WIP) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJanuary 20th 2015, 7:56 pm

MEISTER TEMPLATE

Skylar Lara Springs


Gender:
Female

Age:
16

Weapon:
N/A

Love Interest:

N/A

Orientation:
Straight

Appearance:
She is very short about 4'11. Her hair is dark brown and does down to her shoulders. Her eyes are dark blue. Her outfits change thoughts the seasons. In the summer she wears a purple tank top that cuts off at her belly button, with denim shorts and skateboard shoes. In fall/spring its a purple hoodie, skinny jeans and skateboard shoes. In winter or just the cold she wears a really thick purple sweater, skinny jeans and boots.
 
Personality:
She is usually in a good mood but is really shy when you first meet her. She is also quirky and easy to get along with. She has become strong and brave over the years thanks to her time in color guard.

History:
Skylar grew up in Tennessee always having a love for dance. She joined her first dance class when she was five and had to drop out due to it clashing with school. When she started middle school it was a class to take in school by her 8th grade year she was a pro. Then one day a teacher from the high school came in to the 8th grade dance class to tell them about a class they could take at the high school. The teacher called it Color Guard which pairs with the marching band during marching season and provides color and visual for the band. She was up for a challenge so went out for it at her school a week later she found out she made the team and started band camp a week later. She was advancing fast and everyone caught on to it. She could spin everything from six foot flags, to riffles, to sabers every week it was something new. Finally at the end of marching season her director told her about a school for kids gifted with her talents. She thought about it for weeks on end finally she told her parents she thought that school would be perfect for her. They waited until school got out for winter break and sent her then to the DWMA.    

Miscellaneous:
Color Guard is

about the spinning of a flag, rifle, or sabre associated with marching bands and drum corps.

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Join date : 2014-04-20

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PostSubject: Re: Skylar Lara Springs (WIP) INACTIVE   Skylar Lara Springs (WIP) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJanuary 21st 2015, 7:32 pm

1. Remove the template title
2. The appearance could use some work.
3. The personality section is very short and, while I understand what it is that you are getting out, is a bit drab.
4. Her history is completely focused on her dancing and color guard; there is nothing else fleshed out about her.
5. You have the wrong answer to the question

Overall, it mostly needs some editing work (sentence structure, punctuation and whatnot). Correct things as stated and I'll check back again.
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