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 James and John Andrews (Finished)

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PostSubject: James and John Andrews (Finished)   James and John Andrews (Finished) I_icon_minitimeOctober 16th 2016, 1:30 pm

James and John Andrews (Finished) 43ab29b144f9a6014c2cb99f53100311

Name Andrews, James and John

Gender/Sex: Both are male

Age: 16

Meister:

Weapon Form: James and John transform into an identical pair of chakrams. They are about 5 feet in length and are made out of steel. The outer edge of their blades are a bit brighter then the inner edge. The small bit of the handle that can be seen appears to be made of mahogany. The cloth wrapping the handle of the chakrams differs between James and John. The cloth of James' handle is solid black while the cloth of John's handle is solid blue. The outer ring of the chakram have three blades on it. The first blade is located at the top of the chakram and extends about 2 inches from the outer ring. The second blade is located five inches to the left of the first blade. The blade extends from the outer ring 2 inches and curves to the left. The final blade is located five inches to the right of the first and extends 2 inches from the outer ring and curves to the right. When James and John are held to their meister's side, the blades give off the appearance of a y. The inner ring has a small half ring above the handle to provide an extra bit of protection for their meister.
Love Interest:

Orientation: John is bisexual and James is bi curious

Appearance: Both James and John are 5 ft 6 in and have piercing blue eyes. John however, has a small bit of green close to the iris. This bit of green is only seen if he is looking directly into another's eyes and can be easily over looked. John normally doesn't look directly into anyone's eyes that often. Another way to tell the two apart is James has to wear reading glasses. James' glasses are solid black and have plastic frames. Both have short neatly trimmed black hair. James has blue highlights in his hair. John also has blue highlights in his hair but for some reason the highlights in his hair are a shade lighter. James tends to wear black tee shirts and black jeans. John wears blue tees and black jeans. James and John normally wear grey trench coats and wear necklaces that are part of a single pedant. When the pedant is put together, it forms a coin that reads "Our family together forever." James wears the part that reads "our family." John wears the part that reads "together." James also carries in his left pocket Carolyn's half of the pedant.

Personality: James and John are the most similar in this area. Both are quiet and careful. They tend to think of the repercussions of their actions before they speak or act. They are loyal and protective of anyone they consider a friend. Both have a strong hatred of witches and will blindly charge into battle if they come across one. However, there are some slight differences between the two. James is very protective of John. John finds this extremely annoying and leads to a fight between the two. John is normally the one who ends up apologizing. John does have a slight rebellious streak that manifests itself as pulling practical jokes on unsuspecting victims. John's most used prank is posing as James and doing something embarrassing. This however can backfire if the victim can tell the difference between the two.

History: James and John were born in England. They moved to America when their baby sister, Carolyn was born. They moved because of rumors of their mother being a witch. These rumors were untrue but that didn't stop the threats and the rumors from circulating. Their mother moved them to Boston to be closer to their father's family. Their father died when they were two so they don't have many memories of him. When John and James were little,  their grandmother would tell them tales of meister and demon weapons. Their grandmother was a retired meister and suspected the boys might be weapons but she wasn't sure.

One day when the boys were out playing with Carolyn a kishin egg stumbled across the trio. Their grandmother ran to their side and told them to run. However, the three of them stayed to afraid to move. Their mother arrived and scooped their baby sister into her arms. She called for the boys to join her. The kishin egg smelling more food ignored its opponent and killed the easier prey. Their mother died instantly but tried to protect Carolyn. Carolyn fell onto the grass with the kishin egg leering over her. James threw a rock at it while John tried to get to Carolyn. The kishin egg snarled and went after James. John reached Carolyn and transformed into his weapon form surprising everyone and the kishin egg.  James transformed as well and their grandmother picked up James to wield him. She shouted at Carolyn to toss John over to her. Carolyn picked up John and tossed him over to their grandmother. She caught John and fought the kishin egg. A witch stood under a tree and watched the fight. The witch used the fight as a distraction to grab Carolyn and take her away to use as a test subject. The boys killed the kishin egg and James devoured its soul. However, Carolyn was gone. The boys returned to their human form. They wanted to run after the witch but their grandmother told them no.

After their mother's funeral, Carolyn's body turned up in a field outside of Boston. James took her death the hardest and took off her pedant to carry with him. The boys packed their bags and decided to move to Death City to go to the DWMA to learn to control their abilities. They left after their sister's funeral and vowed to find the witch that killed her and end her.



Soul Count: 1

Miscellaneous: James and John both play violin.

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Last edited by Cartuss on October 21st 2016, 4:29 pm; edited 2 times in total
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[RACKIE]
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[RACKIE]


Posts : 8774
Join date : 2013-10-27
Age : 25
Location : Poland

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PostSubject: Re: James and John Andrews (Finished)   James and John Andrews (Finished) I_icon_minitimeOctober 19th 2016, 11:13 am

Hello, Cartuss.
I have noticed a few little issues with this character sheet:
1.They are twins, which means they are basically two characters. So that is why I would like you to make their weapon form, appearance and personality sections longer. (It would be nice if you put minimum 200.
2. You use a very simple language to describe everything. Also, a few sentences just do not feel complete.
3. Please, add more to their personality, it feels not detailed enough.
4. In their history, a witch appears totally out of nowhere:
"During the fight, a witch grabbed Carolyn and took her away before she could be stopped. The boys killed the kishin egg and James devoured its soul. However, Carolyn was gone. "
I would like you to describe why and how she appeared.

Thank you for your cooperation!
Rackie, the SERP moderator

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[RACKIE]
Admin
Admin
[RACKIE]


Posts : 8774
Join date : 2013-10-27
Age : 25
Location : Poland

James and John Andrews (Finished) Empty
PostSubject: Re: James and John Andrews (Finished)   James and John Andrews (Finished) I_icon_minitimeOctober 22nd 2016, 2:06 pm

James and John Andrews (Finished) KUOv3Pz
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PostSubject: Re: James and John Andrews (Finished)   James and John Andrews (Finished) I_icon_minitime

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