How Do You Deal With It?

I'm torn up on the inside right now. Yesterday, somebody I used to know died a violent death. They found his body in a lake, after he had drowned to death. I'm not going to use any names here. but I just needed to say something about it. The two of us didn't get along, in fact I could say there was probably a very strong dislike between us, because for whatever reason he felt like he had to be an ass to me. But never in my life could I ever wish death upon someone, even if I thought about it only momentarily.

A ago on television I saw a man who claimed that every time he saw someone, friend, foe, stranger, whatever, would say I love you as he left or said goodbye because he never knew what day would be his last, even if they had just insulted him. Imagine what an ass I feel like after that.

I currently am a Junior in High School, and the last time I saw him was in 7th grade, and I can almost guarantee, I didn't leave him with something reassuring. There's no redemption for something like that, but I have to live with it. What can I do, just to clear my conscience at the least.

Dude, that is...shocking to say the least. I doubt anybody could have expected it, and you can't let it weigh down on your conscience, or you might carry it around forever. Just remember that it wS beyond your control, and you have nothing to be sorry for. Life just happens.

The past is the past, dear. You live and you learn from it, but there's no going back. There's a religious answer to this, but I won't preach if you don't want me to do so.

In the end, the most you can really do is take away from what has happened; be like the guy you saw on television. Don't let a moment go for granted. No matter what happens, don't leave a fight without a little peace, don't step away from a friend with a little love... and even if it's someone you don't like, wish them a good day.

I'm not going to offer words of reassurance. Not going to tell you to live your life to the fullest. Chances are, people all around you have told you that so much, you've thoroughly grown sick of hearing it. 

Instead, I'm going to give you some advice to clear your consiounce(sp). Go to the funeral. Give your last respects. Then, if you still feel guilty, try and make amends by helping others. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Help with public works projects. ECT, ECT, yada yada. But remember, this WAS NOT  your fault.