the dark scientist daniel drake (Rejected)

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Name:Daniel drake(aka dark matter reaper)

Gender/Sex:male

Age:sixteen (actual age 47)

Weapon: N/A

Love Interest: N/A

Orientation (Sexual/Romantic):straight

Appearance: daniel drake is five feet six inches tall. He has long snow white hair that reaches the floor and a patch of hair covering the left side of his face. He has blue eyes but a black strip creeps across his face letting others know he has an eyepatch covering his left eye. He wear a pitch blacktrench coat that reaches the floor and jet black pants and boots. He also wears a red suit with a black tie under his trench coat. Daniel's skin is also pale from lack of sunlight.

Personality: daniel likes to keep to himself most of the time but if he is in the presence of a female then he will stiffen up and begin to stutter. After he gets used to the females presence he will begin to speak fluently once again. He is also very kind and tries to reason with others instead of trying to instigate a fight.daniel is also a pacifist but if the need arises he will fight.

History: daniel drake is actually a person from an alternate universe. In his universe he was a scientific prodigy. At the age of six he had already solved the problem to world hunger by designing fast growing produce and was able to make non habital environments like desserts, by creating special grass and trees capable of surviving in the scorching wastelands. One day he was at a science exhibit where thousands of great minds had gathered. During a presentation a terrorist had set a bomb on the exhibit. Once the bomb set off every thing was destroyed and daniels world went black. After he awoke he realized he couldn't see out of his left eye and had no feeling in his left and right leg.after the docter came into his room he told the young mind that he was the only survivor and he had lost his eye and two limbs.at age nine daniel had created bio mechanical limbs. And ge even made himself a new eye he then began research on nano robots to try and not only help his fellow humans but also try and regain his original organic limbs. At age sixteen he finally finished development of the first self replicating nanobot.once he injected himself out of excitement he realized his error as his limbs did not return. Thinking his design was flawed he went to get more materials when he slipped and landed stomach first on an incomplete floor with rebarb sticking out. Once he had removed himself from the protrudimg bar he witnessed as the nanobots repaired the wound. Thus beginning his nightmare. Twenty years later he was still sixteen due to the nanobots but he started researching matter and energy frequencies allowing him to create his trench coat and his scythe. He also became leader of the unbeatable general and head of resaerch and development of the military.three years later he found out the military was making weapons of mass destruction behind his back so he hacked the files and took back any blueprints and currently made weapons that were made and went into hiding.Six years have passed since he went into hiding when he met the love of his life, a woman named lenina. After three month of dating he was they had left a movie theatre when she was killed. Using his left eye he emmediatly knew who the assailant was. The leader of the assasination group of the military's unbeatable generals. After that daniel withdrew into himself and stayed hidin withing his secret lab working on a gateway to leave his corrupt universe. After two years of careful research and planning everything was ready he would soon begin his new life.

Miscellaneous: i'll be doing a little info building here. I'll put the name of the item and what it is cappable of doing.

Daniel's trenchcoat:this trenchcoat is actually made out of condensed dark matter and also one giant computer capable of turning living or nonliving materials into data and storing them for later. The suit also allows daniel or any one wearing it to enter the negative zone through the shadows allowing for a quick escape if needed. The rib like designs om the coat are nanobots the are able to reach up to a fifty foot radius, they can also be used as a defense mechanism, the coats ribs also work in AI or voice automated mode.

Daniel:daniel has a special technique he uses incase a fight is inevitable. As he talks he has his hands moving. Due to his research on humans fascination on moving objects he learned how to hipnotize a person with the movements of his hands. Once e begins speaking it is technically to late for the victim cause what they are actually looking at when daniel us still talking is a fake. If he does need to fight then the image will dissapear with the real daniel in front of his enemy making it look like he moved faster than the speed of light. The nanobots within daniel practicly make him immortal and he has tried almost every solution to try and deactivate them(i will make a mission to make him mortal but will be done after his first encounter with a witch or wizard which i'll try to make the first topic)

Left arm abd right leg:these two mechanical limbs are connected to the nerve endings which connect right to the central nervous system meaning if some one were to hit the mechanical limbs he would feel it. The limbs are a titanium adamantite infused alloy. The right leg has a special pressure pump system alloying for increased jumping abilities but only if he jumps off of his right leg. Left arm has a detachable hand connected to a chain along with a pressure cannon used to launch the hand and  retraction gears. Once fired daniel is still able to move the fingers of the hand for the chains connecting the had are hollow and filled with wires. The length of the chain is ten feet.

Left eye:the eye is probably his greatest yet worst creation. The mechanical eye is capable of using every kind of vision there is from thermal vision,x-ray, infared,etc. It can even use a frequency scanner to follow an electrical frequency if he is trying to find something or some one. The down side to his eye is....well don't th;nk about it to hard for that's the reason he wears an eyepatch over his left eye.

Darkmatterscythe:like the name states it a scythe of dark matter but only the top part. The handle is a device that pulls in and hold the dark matter together like a magnet. The scythe dark matter affect a person mentally but not physically but can block physical weapons like swords and bullets. The scythe also has a dual mode only the second half of the scyth is made of light matter which affects a person physically but can block mental or non physical attacks.

Bladedgloves:these gloves ate capable of absorbing energy and converting it into electricity for his trenchcoat to store and can be accessed for later uses. Thw only way the gloves absorbing abilities can be activated is if daniel cracks his knuckles
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come with me, great power and madness awaits
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Okay, so, in order:

1. The formatting is just plain bad. Break up the walls of text please, add more paragraphs.
2.

Quote :

'daniel drake is a scientist whose IQ is higher than all of the infamous know scientists put in one room'

Veto'ing this, because for one thing, its a tad bit stupid.

3.

Quote :

At age sixteen he created the very first selfreplicating subatomic nanobots to cure people of allergies

And this. This is also stupid.

4.

Code:

Two thousand years later daniel was still in hiding because he knew the military wouldn't give up on theur search for him so he began to work on a machine called the AUGS(Alternate Universe Gateway System) which he based off of the multiverse theory.

Why are almost all of your characters from another universe? I'm legit wondering this. All of them are either from a ridiculous amount of time in the past, or they came from another universe because *reasons*

5.

Quote :

protection and because the areself replicating and amorphous they can stretch and reach and object that can be on the other side of the planet

This is INCREDIBLY stupid. Being able to reach things across the planet. How did you think that was a good idea, exactly?

6.

Code:

Daniel drake is also able to move faster than the speed of sound.in one of the thousands of years of his life he was in love with a woman named lenina but she was assassinated by a hit man hired by the military

Veto'ing the ability to move faster than sound, too OP. Also, shouldn't Lenina go in history?

7.

Code:

The nanobots that keep daniel from dying are able to adapt and evolve in a matter seconds, daniel has tried many times to try to find a eay to destroy or turn off the little robots that reside inside of him. He has tried emp,jumping in a volcano, diving into the arctic sea, and even turned himself into a living meteor. But every time the nanobots like i said evolved or adapted to the environment so daniel hopes to find his end in the new universe.

Veto'ing this HARD. Way too OP. Especially the bit where they raise him from the dead.


In summary, unless you fix the issues listed here, this character isn't going to be accepted.

Okay i did a major edit to my character i did keep some things like the nanobots making him immortal but i do have a plan to deactivate them like i said in the app and iff any one sees this like another admin i would like it if beetle would never ever evals my characters ever again. Please and thank you.

One anti matter and dark matter are two seperate types of matter. Two i don't try to make op characters and this one doesn't like fighting. Only collecting data and research.

If you don't try, doesn't mean you don't, Crusher, and even if a character doesn't like fighting, they cannot be immortal. That is not how balancing works, and this character is not balanced in the slightest.

Crusher wrote:

daniel drake is actually a person from an alternate universe. In his universe he was a scientific prodigy. At the age of six he had already solved the problem to world hunger by designing fast growing produce and was able to make non habital environments like desserts, by creating special grass and trees capable of surviving in the scorching wastelands.

This is still pretty ridiculous. This is SOUL EATER roleplay, make a character from the Soul Eater universe. Also, a six year old being that intelligent is also pretty SoD breaking.

Crusher wrote:

Daniel's trenchcoat:this trenchcoat is actually made out of condensed dark matter and also one giant computer capable of turning living or nonliving materials into data and storing them for later. The suit also allows daniel or any one wearing it to enter the negative zone through the shadows allowing for a quick escape if needed. The rib like designs om the coat are nanobots the are able to reach up to a fifty foot radius, they can also be used as a defense mechanism, the coats ribs also work in AI or voice automated mode.

Dark matter does not work that way. Dark matter earned its name because, fun fact, it's impossible to observe directly.

Also, 'escape through shadows' is a bit OP.

Crusher wrote:

Daniel:daniel has a special technique he uses incase a fight is inevitable. As he talks he has his hands moving. Due to his research on humans fascination on moving objects he learned how to hipnotize a person with the movements of his hands. Once e begins speaking it is technically to late for the victim cause what they are actually looking at when daniel us still talking is a fake. If he does need to fight then the image will dissapear with the real daniel in front of his enemy making it look like he moved faster than the speed of light. The nanobots within daniel practicly make him immortal and he has tried almost every solution to try and deactivate them(i will make a mission to make him mortal but will be done after his first encounter with a witch or wizard which i'll try to make the first topic)

Hypnotism is out, as mind control is a automatic no-no. Also, teleportation is a no-no. Nanobots are still OP, and no, I don't care if you intend to make a mission to deactivate them.

Meanwhile, the grammar is still terrible.

Since I see no possible way for this app to be salvaged, I'm going to have to reject it for approval completely.

Your coding is completely and totally broken.

Your grammar is wretched and grossly needs correcting.

Alternate Universe characters are completely and totally out of the question, in and of themselves, eliminating the vast majority of his history, single-handedly.

His intelligence is too impossible and high, making it alone over-powered.

The nanobots are out of the question, alternate universe or not. It's simply not going to happen, as they are also far too over-powered for the Soul Eater universe itself, let alone the site.

The eye is also over powered. The senses it has are unreasonable and illogical. Additionally, even a fraction of its abilities would require technology far too large to fit into just the eye, or possibly even the head.

Your dark matter research is clearly very lacking, as nothing you have stated in this application shows any true knowledge of the substance. The Wikipedia Article would give a more accurate representation that you have here.

This is Soul Eater, not DnD; shadow dancers (and thus hopping through shadows as though they were portals) is completely and totally impossible.

Not only did you not even spell hypnotism correctly, you cannot use it, nor do you have any apparent grasp on how such actually works. Hypnotism is not allowed on-site, as it requires power-playing, breaking the rules merely by suggestion.

Immortality is not an option, as it is too over-powered.

I will give you this --- I do actually like the designs for his mechanical limbs. In the future, something like this could definitely be discussed with the Staff.

He has too many weapons, regardless of them not being Soul Eater Demon Weapon types.

You do not have the rule question even stated, much less properly answered.

All in all, the gist of my evaluation is this; this character is not allowed, and that is not open for any sort of discussion. There is no chance that this application will be approved.

In addition,

Quote :

iff any one sees this like another admin i would like it if beetle would never ever evals my characters ever again. Please and thank you.

"Please and thank you," even included, comes off as snooty and rude. To be blunt, this was rude, unnecessary, uncalled for, and flat-out disrespectful. As an adminstrator of the site, Beetle has warranted the respect of the sites existing members as well as, or perhaps especially, the Staff members themselves. Additonally, he has greatly proven himself as both a member and a leader, and by position alone, warrants your respect and should rightfully be listened to. Yes, I will agree that Beetle's mode of evaluation is more casual and blunt than some other staff members, but that does not change the fact that he is an Adminstrater. You also may not specifically request that a staff member not be allowed to evaluate your characters without any (proper) basis.

As such, I am personally infracting you 25 points for disrespecting an Admin, and I stand by Beetle's decision to reject this character entirely. No, this is not up for debate; the staff as a whole has agreed that this character is not going to be accepted and that the idea needs to be scrapped.

I thank you for your time and hope that you choose to make a more site-appropriate character.

Good day, Crusher.
-Lani