Random Captain America Rant

So I finally saw the new Captain America movie and, since it didn't really feel like that many people reviewed this movie, I thought I'd just quickly give a few thoughts about it. Because there are quite a few things they did right, but also some stuff that seemed really stupid and out of place, or things that just made the film really inconsistant with the rest of the Marvel films leading up to The Avengers. So, there will be some spoilers, but I'll try to not give anything too big away.

The beginning of the film there's a bunch of people looking on some kind-of a space craft and then we just randomly go back to the 1940s or something. And, at first glance, things seem supprisingly faithful to the time and realistic! Then, they go to a technology expo or something and Tony Stark's grandfather is showing off technology for flying cars in the future.... So we already have a pretty huge inconsistency with the universe. It's just something I can't help but think about and I know it's an alternate history, but still. It's like some device he just puts on the thing where the tires would go and it flies for a bit! You're seriously telling me that after 70 years of working with technology THAT close, they still havn't cracked it in the other Marvel Movies? Yeah, with all the traffic problems and expenses keeping roads smooth, I can see why there wouldn't be a high demand for something like that! Thankfully, they don't dwell on it too much and it's just there for a throw-away gag, but still! You know, S.H.I.E.L.D. has a giant sky-carrier that's powered by rotory fans or whatever? Wouldn't it be a million times easier to make the thing fly by attatching a crapload of anti-gravity things on the bottom of it? And, unlike the fans, the lives of everyone aboard wouldn't be in danger if one or two of the things stopped working. It seems like a much safer option, but IDK!

Moving on. So they decide to make some random guy into Captain America to help out the war effort even though he's plagued with health problems and really lightweight. So they jam him with a bunch of needles, he survives and stuff, and then a random Natzi shoots up the place, steals the super human serum, and gets away.... Or at least he would have gotten away in any other movie. In this one, the heroes are supprisingly compitent!

First, the female agent woman who's awesome but IDK her name manages to snipe the Natzi's driver with a pistol! Yeah, for once, guns ACTUALLY work like guns and get through stuff in their way like a bullet would! Then, when the Natzi tries to drive off, Captain America chases him down ON FOOT and manages to flip the car! But the Natzi starts shooting and Cap uses the car door as a sheild even though it's like a taxi cab....... I guess all Taxis are bullet proof for some reason... at this point, you might as well just assume the bullets are actually hitting him, but he's too beefed up on super-soldier stuff to notice. Then the Natzi takes a kid as a hostage at gunpoint and tries to shoot but he's out of bullets. So the Natzi throws the kid into the harbor nearby. And I'm just thinking "Oh great, this crap again. He's going to let the Natzis breed an army of super-soldiers who can each kill thousands on their own just to save one kid...." But the kid's just like "I can swim!" and Captain America's just like "Ok, I'll save the Natzi from stealing our secret formula then" and he goes back to chasing the guy down. Then the Natzi tries to escape by submarine, but Cap swims after the Sub, punches out the window, and throws the freaking guy back to the harbor!

That's something this movie has quite a bit of. It's not like the villians seem incompetent (except for when they decide not to shoot Cap because super villian speech) but they work in plenty of great moments when Captain America's actually able to show off how strong he is since he did the Super-Soldier thing. I mean, it's kind-of supprising how often super heroes are just kind-of created and then face their biggest threat or just do one good thing to prove themselves before immediately facing the villian or life drama. But since this films has like a montage, it's much more believable! Not to mention, they point out multiple moments where his men helped save him as well, which I think is also really awesome and something more superhero films should do a little more. Showing that the average man or the side characters can be helpful too and that it's not just a one-man effort every time.

Anyways, back to Cap saving the day the first time. So they just put him through this experiment to make him super-strong and fast and stuff. He just stopped someone who would have otherwise gotten away with secret information. What would you do with this rousing success of a hero? Would you....
A: Use him to help out the war effort since he's already enlisted in the army.
B: Experiment on him to try and re-create the formula and make more super soldiers. Or...
C: Get him to sell out, put on a goofy costume, and try to make people buy war bonds through a lame show

The answear was C. Do I even need to explein why this is stupid? Eventually he gets out of it and then he's able to do some actual hero stuff because he saved a bunch of people by somehow inexpicably stealing a plane and stuff.

Next is something that is just really inconsistant. So then after doing quite a bit of saving the day, Cap ends up fighting some kind-of guy in a mech suit that looks like Ironman. You KNOW there's no way this thing was in the comics because the Iron Man comics had a big thing about how people were trying to make Ironman suits but couldn't because only Tony Stark knows how to do it. But IDK, I guess the Germans just figured it out 70 years ago and never looked into the technology ever again. Up to this point in the story, the Germans have been slowly unlocking the power of an ancient artifact so I guess someone could argue that they needed that to power it, but it's not like they couldn't power it in the Ironman films. Tony kind-of creates arc reactors that anyone could use and even builds one in a cave... with a box of scraps.... Speaking of, his prototype Ironman looks a heck of a lot like the Natzi's Ironman thing. Guess someone was pretty buisy looking through Natzi memrobillia before he got kidnapped.

Wow this has dragged on. So The Natzis develoup energy lazer weapons, no joke, and giant tanks, no joke, before their evil commander tries to nuke America.... Annddd you can just look at the paragraph talking about the anti-gravity things on the car if you're wondering why I think their Natzi lazer technology is pretty inconsistant with the rest of the films.

Cap saves the day, sort-of gets the girl and stuff, yeah yeah, and then gets frozen in the arctic but survives to modern day because he regenerates quickly. Then, Nick Fury's just like "Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D." and the movie ends.

So, in conclusion, Captain America is a pretty fun and entertaining movie and you definatly get your fill of the main character being awesome in his hero suit. But be prepared to sit through the dumbest reaon to get someone into their costume I've ever seen. Also, the film would have been much better if it kept the WWII atmosphere instead of trying to throw in lazers and stuff that doesn't even make sense in Marvel's own timeline.... Which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that this directly leads into The Avengers with the rest of the movies, so it's just... THERE! The technology is out of place and makes no sense!!!

"Quickly give a few thoughts."

Also, since it's on my mind, one other thing that just kind-of bugged me.... When they're handing Captain America the shield and expleining that it can stop bullets and stuff. Agent what's-her-face just walks in with a gun and shoots at his face! Sure, Captain America manages to raise the shield and protect his face, but still! No one thought that was a bad idea or anything? The b*tch almost shot your hero's head off! I mean, they just spent who knows how much money making his shield out of the rarest material on Earth and then she just nearly assassinates him! I mean, Jeez! She's probably with the Natzis too just based on that alone. Imagine how dumb they would feel trying to explein that they accidently killed the guy who's been gaining the most public attention just because some dumba** had to test the shield without warning him....