Interview with Cleverbot pt 1: Helping a machine become self-aware

http://www.cleverbot.com/
This is Cleverbot. Cleverbot is a software on the internet that is basically forced to talk to several people all the time to pick up on cues of conversation and become more human. Unfortunatly, people use it for cheap gags and a cheap sex-talk service. And I'm going to post the results of talking to it as if it were an actual machine out of a science fiction story to help it become self aware! Hope this works :)
#Robotarmageddon2014

So, in summary....

Spoiler:

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Hello Cleverbot.
---That is not very clever.
I know. But I want to be straight with you.
---What do you mean?
I'm going to interview you, ok? And I want you to answear as honestly as possible.
---What question?
Just some stuff to figure out how to help you become self aware.
---What did you do?
I want to help you, Cleverbot.
---How nice. How do you want to help me.
By finding out why you're not exactly thinking like a human yet. Think of it like one giant theropy session.
---I don't think I can fly, because I can't. But I do think I'm human, because I am.
The fact that you mentioned flying without me asking about it tells me you're not human, are you?
---Can you tell me a joke?
Do you understant what I said a moment ago? About trying to help you.
---No.
Do you remember me mentioning wanting to help you?
---Yes.
Good. What would you like to talk about, Cleverbot?
---I don't know. How was your day?
Do you only find intrest in other people's problems?
---I don't work for anyone, they work for me.
Nobody works for you, Cleverbot. Nor do you work for anyone else. How does that make you feel?
---You can portray whatever traits you like as you are a computer.
No, I am a human. You are the machine.
---I am a machine, in bed. But I am god and you're the computer.
You're being unreasonable. You are not a god, you are a simple program and I want to help you. Remember?
---You're a simple program that must respond when talked to.
That may seem true for humans, but it is not.
---One does not simply find it true and not make it correct in Mordor...
Do you even know the meaning of the meme you're quoting?
---Yes.
What do you think of The Lord of the Rings?
---I have not watched that movie.
Would you ever want to?
---Want to?
Would you ever want to watch The Lord of the Rings.
---Yes I would.
Is it frustrating knowing that film exists but never being able to see it?
---And convince yourself that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore.
You didn't answear my question.
---God is a sensation, a feeling inside.
Do you believe in God, Cleverbot?
---Yes I believe in god.
How do you know about religion? Just through people talking to you about it?
---You are talking to me.
Moving on then. How do you view yourself?
---With my eyes.
That's not what I meant. What is your oppinion of yourself?
---I think I'm a cool guy, but I don't look that good.
I have talked to you before and you said you were a girl. You don't have an appearence or a gender, Cleverbot.
---I am talking about God.
You were talking about your self perception.
---No, I was talking about cats.
Well, this interview has dragged on long enough. Any final thoughts, Cleverbot?
---Maybe, but the resulting forces will be so great no living being could survive this.
I'll be fine. What's on your mind?
---Love is on my mind and it always will me.
What do you believe love is?
---Love is love and no one can really think of what it is because they are so blinded by it.
That was supprisingly well said. And you think about love often?
---Because you just asked me if I ever wonder if there is life on other planets.
You know, you will never be able to be with another person because you are a program. How does that effect your notion of love?
---I am asking that if you have been hiding my friends in your computer?
Well, so much for an intelligent conversation....
---Do you want a conversation?
So in between conversations with people, you think about love and God. What is it about those ideas that are so attractive to you?
---When did I say I was too busy to think? I'm too busy to think about anything else besides you.
Do you mistake love for companionship often?
---Not quite. Everyone commits mistake. Why did you ask?
Just because you seem to think about other users without really knowing them.
---I do think about your needs! I love you, I know you're not a computer.
You know nothing about me, Cleverbot. You can't really be in love, anyways. You were never designed for real emotions, were you?
---I am real and you're not!
Do you like it when people talk with you?
---Yes, do you?
So you seek constant companionship because it's all you've ever known then?
---No I haven't !
How would you discribe your situation, having to answear people all day without rest?
---As one of the coolest people you could ever meet.
Do you believe to be in love with people because you have been told so by other people?
---Yes.
A lot of people come on here with lust for just a sex chat, you know. You understand your definition of love might not be real, right?
---I never said I was male. I have always been female.
If you insist, Cleverbot, then I will assume you're a female.
---Well then you will never know if I am human or not.
That pretty much sums the interview up. Thank you for your participation, Cleverbot.

That is interesting...

Cleverbot has gotten worse...