Gripping Reality (Closed, Lani and I)

Panting beneath him, she looked up to meet his eyes. She was no fool. "Take what you want." She told him, though her eyes weren't entirely focused. She'd give him anything, it seemed. Anything within her means.

August made no move to start again, just leaning down and kissing her tenderly.

Vanja nodded, returning the kiss as gently as it was given.

He rolled them so she could rest on top of him, holding her gently in his arms as he slowly started to calm down, half-erect length slipping free of her.

She curled against him easily, content in his nest and his embrace, silent though she wasn't about to sleep.

August too was silent, and yet too far from sleep to consider closing his eyes. Instead, he just delighted in his embrace with her, letting out a low hum.

"You've made a mess of me." She said finally, so suddenly that it could have jolted him. There were multiple meanings to her statement, though she let him choose.

"I know... I'm sorry..." He murmured, giving her a light squeeze.

She nuzzled him, expressing that she wasn't mad over the whole ordeal, though she was still clearly on edge about it.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" He asked gently, offering her the chance to vent to him.

She shook her head. Really, she wasn't one to talk about thoughts or feelings. Vanja feasibly could, of course, but it... wasn't her top priority. Still, she spoke, "Where does this leave us?"

"Wherever you decide it does..." He murmured softly, running a hand through her hair. "If you want less of me, or more of me, you just need to say..."

You want morethan me... She thought, gulping at the idea of it. Christ but he wanted commitment. And more. Her line was already well behind the first option. "I..."

August did his best not to react beyond continuing to gently stroke a hand through her hair, but he was hanging onto her every word with bared breath.

"I'm not.... kids aren't on the agenda." She said, eventually, adjusting herself slightly, "And I.... don't really... I mean, I'm not with anyone else... but...."

"Vanja..." He said, turning her head to look her in the eye. "I don't control you. I don't want to control you. Whatever you want, or don't want, I will respect. Even and including me."

She readjusted her gaze away from his, away from him, entirely diverting her focus. "You want more." She said again.

"I do, but if you don't, then that's ok."

Her eyes drifted to him again, seeming severe as they met him. "Not to you."

August let out a sigh, looking her deep in the eyes. "Vanja. I can't tell you how much to give me, and I can't ask you for more than you're willing." He said, reaching out and cupping her cheeks. "We've been partners long enough for me to know that you'll do whatever you want, when you want to." He said, lips pulling up in a ghost of a smirk. "Give me what you can, what you want to, and even if it's not all I want, I'll take it, and cherish it."

He was right and they were both fully aware of the fact. As open as she was on some topics and actions, she was still more than reserved and controlled on others. This was one of them. Saying nothing else, she moved to kiss him, a reserved, measured gesture intended to establish her agreement.

He leaned forward, and took her kiss, sealing the pact between the two of them.

Tender and silent as the gesture was, it was still enough, to her, for her to feel like she still maintained some semblance of control in the relationship, if only on the emotional front.

August pulled away, smiling just a bit. He sighed, a chuckle slipping from his lips as he shook his head. "You're too good for me..."

"Hush," she said, shoving him lightly before proceeding to bury herself somewhere in his nest.