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 Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE

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Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE Empty
PostSubject: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 23rd 2014, 3:24 am

Name: Magnus Krinne
Age: 17
Date Of Birth: 07/07
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Bisexual
Type: Meister
Weapon:
Love Interests: None yet


Appearance:


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magnus has black hair with red edges. Bangs that cover his face and a sideways head band tied around his hair. He has a collar around his neck to hide a scare received when he was a teen. He wears bandages on his left arm. He wears dual arm armor with claws at the end. each finger slides into one of the claws. He has dual pistols attached to both of his thighs. He has a tattoo on his stomach.  He has one dark yellow eye and one red eye.

Magnus always likes to dress fancy. if he isn't wearing a tux he is wearing a white button up shirt with all black. even his pajamas are tuxedo themed (the're actual pajamas tho)  he only wears things that are black, white, red, yellow/gold, or all of the above. If he wears any other color he uses it as some sort of excuse. When he doesn't have something important planned or it is the weak end he wear a tux loosely. like in the picture below. The only things he wears that have other colors are his necklaces.

Height: 6'3"
Weight: 180 lbs

Personality:

Magnus may appear to be a total tool, a jerk, only caring for himself, but deep down he is depressed and sad. Every smile he makes is fake. He purposely drives people away because he is scared of loosing them. those who are close to him, he jokes a lot to ease the pain and hide his emotions. He is antisocial. When he gets mad, he takes things to the extreme. To the people he is really close to, he is extremely nice and caring. He loves spicy food, sweets, and fast food. he loves music. classical, J pop, and J rock. He always works out, but remains skinny due to his very fast metabolism. He hates perky people. People who are way too nice. He hates repeating things, he hates to bite cold things like ice or ice cream. He is claustrophobic and has a fear of the dark, spiders, and demons. He likes symmetrical things, but he doesn't obsess over it.

He plays Just about every string instrument plus the piano and drums. He likes to draw. He likes video games. He likes Sports. He likes to work out, and lastly, he likes to daydream about anything he can.

Abilities:

Basic soul menace


History:



Magnus had a normal life as a kid. He had a loving mother, a friendly older brother, and a firm father. Slowly but surely that all changed for the worse. Eventually at the age of 9 his mother fell ill. He didn't give up hope. He was an optimistic kid. One day When his mother was in the hospital part of the roof collapsed on her. He tried to lift it off of her, but he was too weak. When help arrived it was to late. She died. After that he wanted to make his arms extremely strong, so he got addicted to working out his arms. After that, his father started acting strange.

Eventually he left in the middle of the night not leaving a single thing of his behind except for a dream catcher, a string necklace with feathers on it, and Magnus and his brother to fend for themselves. When Magnus found those items he wore them because that was the last thing he had of his father. They became his good luck charms. When Magnus was 11 his brother died. He drowned in a river. Magnus had no home and no family.

He wandered the streets for days, weeks, months surviving off trash and dirty water. Eventually he was so near death, he passed out on the road. A married couple picked him up and took him home. He was asleep for two weeks. When he woke up, he saw a young boy about the same age as him. Blond hair, blue eyes, he was the type of kid that would be popular in schools. He was only awake for a moment, then he fell back asleep. A day later he awoke, when he did the couple asked him lots of questions about his family and what not, he only said one sentence, but that was enough for them "I have no one left to love, and no one is left to love me." They felt sympathy for him.

He grew up with them and eventually learned to love them. He because best friends with their son. Toby. Magnus and Toby would get in lots of trouble, He even got a tattoo on his stomach out of spite. One day he messed with the wrong people. The consequence of his actions got his new family brutally murdered. This happened when he was 15. That day something snapped inside of him. He rejected every one. He became unpleasant to be around. He learned to care for himself.

One day he was being followed by someone, a girl. He tried to lose her, but she wouldn't leave him alone. When he confronted her, she told him one sentence. When that sentence reached his ears, he fell to the ground on his knees. "I have no one left to love, and no one is left to love me" Her name was Versa. Magnus and Versa became extremely close. He always feared that something would happen to her. He felt more like an older brother to her than a lover.

She is the only one he will open up to. One day she went missing. He search for a long, long time. He found her body shot and stabbed. He said out loud. "what have I done to deserve this" Eventually he got used to feeling the pain of loosing the people he loved. He then discovered that the one who killed Versa was the same one who Killed Toby and his family. he is on a quest to find the murderer and to find his brother and father. He Joined DWMA because when he had nowhere else to go. And that is Magnus' past.



Miscellaneous:
Very strong arms. Has a violin he plays when he is bored.  Has a dream catcher necklace and a string necklace with feathers. Sensitive eyes. He talks very weirdly, always increasing pitch at random times. at the end of most sentences he hums the last syllable as if singing a song. he unnecessarily holds out random words.

Have You Read the Rules? I love Soul Eater!


Last edited by Vollstandig on June 27th 2014, 9:11 pm; edited 25 times in total
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Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE Empty
PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 23rd 2014, 8:20 pm

Alright, I've got two things to say here.

Numero uno, is that he is not a kishin, so he shouldn't have any actual resonance that make him stronger, a Soul Resonance should only affect the weapon they use.

And I'm not very happy with Catapult, it's almost like your inherently give him strength and that's not fair to say that something so effortless can do so much damage, especially because he's not actually strong in a conceptual manner.
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 24th 2014, 12:32 am

those are just abilities that he "can" have in the future. but i will still change them. I am currently making him a weapon so thats why he has a resonance
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 24th 2014, 2:20 pm

You don't understand the problem is having a resonance, it's that a meister doesn't use the power from a resonance, only the weapon does. It is their combined strength yes, but the weapon exerts it, not the meister.

And how could he obtain that in the future? Again, weapons are the one that grow in strength, so he could acquire an ability like that, he either begins with it, or he doesn't.
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 26th 2014, 6:19 am

Edited
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 6:52 pm

Since you asked, his history needs a break in it,
like this. To make it more readable.
Many words are not capitalised like they should be, give it a once over to fix that.
There is no need to list his abilitys as he is not a Kishen, though there is nothing wrong with it.
It looks pretty good besides those things, just be pateint.
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 6:59 pm

so is grammar the only thing? ok then. edited.
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 7:19 pm

History looks much better now. The only thing I see wrong is some lack of capitalisation in personality.
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 7:23 pm

fixed
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Knight Guy
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Posts : 1139
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Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE Empty
PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 9:09 pm

I find the rape scene a tad to graphic...especially when you consider that she was stabbed and shot. Seems overkill...
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 9:11 pm

fixed
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Knight Guy
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Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE Empty
PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 9:12 pm

Everything else seems decent to me. Accepted and moved
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 9:12 pm

AAAAA YEA!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitimeJune 27th 2014, 9:15 pm

wait...its in the wrong section. its in the Witch/Sorcerer Creation
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PostSubject: Re: Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE   Magnus Krinne (finished) INACTIVE I_icon_minitime

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